Where Does It All Go Down?

Here are the primary settings found in The Power of Zahn.

Luck, Wisconsin: Hometown of Hans Halvorsen and Holly Hinkley.

Seattle, Washington: City where young Hans hopes to fulfill his dream of becoming a grunge rocker. Instead, this is where he gains the Power of Zahn.

Tahlequah, Oklahoma: The new shell Hans crawls into after leaving Seattle behind.

The Illinois River and Cherokee Bob’s – Home of the 26 Mile Float

The Golden Gallina: Chicken themed casino and hotel built and owned by Capon. The main gambling room, or the “Hen House” as it is dubbed features fallen feathers and hay designs swirled in the filthy carpets. Rows of slot machines stretch out of sight. Crank a lever, and one cannot help but notice Capon’s obsession. Cherries are eggs, double bars are stacked Grade-A cartons, and drumsticks replace pineapples. Instead of the traditional “DING DING DING” of a jackpot, Capon’s machines are rigged to “COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO.”

The Ponderosa: Owned by Cherokee Bob, the Ponderosa conceals the secret meeting chamber of the Order of the Beaver. It is also a wilderness oasis for Cherokee Bob’s family.

 

The Meat in the Sauce – Other Characters

Here are the other characters that add flavor to The Power of Zahn.

Stud Wesley
Stud Wesley is a Hollywood star and hero to the Cherokee people, and as a result, is hated by Capon. Stud is responsible for helping Zahn find the true meaning of his powers.

Pike Filson
Hollywood legend Pike Filson comes to Tahlequah to make an epic movie about the Cherokee People. Pike plays the role of Andrew Jackson.

Pike is an anti-Semite who blames the Jewish people for such things as the designated hitter and the aluminum baseball bat.

C.B.
Known throughout Cherokee County as its biggest bad-ass, C.B. holds a black belt in both Kung Fu and pure crazy. C.B. is Capon’s personal trainer and sparring partner.

Charles Michael
Capon’s personal tailor and Tahlequah’s premier homosexual, Charles Michael serves as the Gallina’s lead interior decorator and is Capon’s best friend.

The Order of the Beaver
The Order of the Beaver is a secret group of seven Cherokee elders who are responsible for monitoring the Power of Zahn.

Thomas Tucky
Thomas Tucky is Loraine’s douchebag boyfriend. He is part of the mega-wealthy Tucky family who own most of Northeastern Oklahoma.

Rosie
Rosie is a yellow Labrador retriever who appeared at The Golden Gallina late one afternoon. Her life up until that day remains completely unknown. But on that fateful day, skinny as a greyhound, the starved pup trailed alongside a trio of floaters who were on the 26-miler out of Cherokee Bob’s. The party, unprepared and underestimating the haul, brought only a lone six-pack of beer and an assortment of survival rations leftover from the previous deer-hunting season. Needless to say, over the miles and hours they bonded with the animal in a spiritual way.

She charmed them by refusing to fall behind or join them in their canoe. She made her own way, but was obliged to swim up to the canoe, nuzzling her nose to get a heavy pat on her thick chest. When the floaters beached she gladly played fetch with a driftwood stick. She shared in the bounty of Vienna sausages, and inspired the floaters to keep the oars dipping and press on down the big river.

But without regret she ditched her river companions after twenty-six miles of tongue wagging, just a few football fields away from the landing and a new life as their pet. The canoers were quickly traded for the raw chicken sewage. The men’s hearts were broken as they were forced to row it in without her. The pooch pulled up at the Gallina and never left.

Cherokee Bob
Cherokee Bob owns Cherokee Bob’s: Home of the 26 Mile One Day Float and is a member of the Order of the Beaver. He only appears in the Epilogue due to his travels to Canada, New Zealand, and other parts of the world.

 

Halvorsen’s Loves

Meet the ladies that stir Hans Halvorsen’s heart.

Holly Hinkley
Red-headed Holly Hinkley is the Halvorsen’s first love. She is responsible for his pilgrimage to Seattle. Holly abandons Hans during the darkness, but her memory haunts him throughout the story.

Loraine Getter
The first time Hans Halvorsen laid eyes on Loraine Getter he was rendered speechless. The entire event was like a slow motion scene in a movie, when the protagonist first sees his heroine. But his scene wasn’t fancied up with a cotillion gown and a winding staircase. Nope, it was hidden in the mundane. Hans had walked up to the store to grab a cold sports drink on his third day of work. Fresh off her final exams, Loraine was making change for a kid buying sunblock and sunflower seeds. Intuitively, after catching a smile from the beauty, Hans began whistling his favorite Beach Boys tune.

Luscious Loraine Getter, with her dark honey-highlighted hair is proclaimed the ‘Queen of the Illinois’ by the buckers at Bob’s. She is a college student hell-bent on cleaning up the chicken waste dumped into the Illinois River by Capon’s factory.

 

Meet the Flat Tail Pickers

FTP

FTP is simply Bart playing anything he can get his hands on, Unit 3 banging the skins, and Hans strumming an acoustic and lending his voice. The sound of the Flat Tail Pickers is best described in this excerpt from the Tahlequah Times.

“…Imagine if a choir of angels got wasted on low-end booze and found out, at the peak of drunkenness, that their babies left them for some jackass demons. Then imagine that they picked up honky-tonk instruments and played songs that mean a heck of a lot to a wounded, but highly pissed off, heart. That, my friends, is the Flat Tail Pickers sound. It’s like a train is coming and you ought to dance right on the tracks. Drummer Dusty Spetz kept a savage beat, and Sammy Hagar of the week, Hans Halvorsen, did a convincing if not spectacular job. Yet again, it was Featherstone’s wild talent that carried the show. He’s a true musical wizard and the best picker in these parts. The FTP sound has the sweet undertones of a finely tuned 1970 Ford truck that gently rumbles your soul…”

 

It’s Monday…Add some words to your vocabulary!

Megahero – (n). A new genre of hero, having depth and complexity far exceeding the traditional superhero.

Zahn – (n). Someone with a large or peculiar tooth or a remarkable set of teeth.

Capon – (n). A castrated rooster.

 

 

The Power of Zahn – Synopsis

The Power of Zahn is the coming of age story of a thirty-something megahero named Hans Halvorsen.  On December 6, 1994, as his band, The Spitting Cobras, is one gig away from a record deal, fate disguised as tragedy freezes Hans to the core and sinks its teeth deep into his left forearm, leaving the mark of the Great Beaver and sending Halvorsen into a deep coma he’ll come to refer to as the Darkness.  Hans, in a sense, dies on that day and Zahn is born.

The sounds of old country music and a quiet voice find him in the black.  The voice belongs to Bart Featherstone and speaks of Hans’s destiny as the prophesized hero of Cherokee folklore.  He invites Hans to join his honkytonk band, the Flat Tail Pickers, in Oklahoma.  A decade passes and the voice and music, his only companions, depart in a sad farewell.

The ex-farmhand from the north country of Luck, Wisconsin soon wakes to find a 32-year-old balding mug staring back at him in the mirror.  An aching void has replaced the prime of his life in one long, painful blink.  Two large teeth jut from his gums, the first sign of his emerging mega-abilities derived from the flat-tail beaver.  The world Hans knew is gone.  Seattle grunge music-his life’s work-is now locked away forever in the annals of rock history.

In a state of confusion, Hans jumps into his 1970 Ford pickup, lovingly named Old Blue, and journeys 2,000 miles to rural Oklahoma and the banks of the scenic Illinois River for answers.  At Cherokee Bob’s Floats outside of Tahlequah, Hans finds a new band, a new love, and true gang of friends. He encounters his evil nemesis Capon, as well as the Power of Zahn that dwells within himself.

At the heart of the story is the battle between Zahn and Capon:  The Great Beaver Spirit versus the morally bankrupt, cockfighting billionaire.  Hans’s powers are a matter of spiritual fate, and frankly he would rather not carry the burden.  Capon’s supernatural evil came at the highest price, a rotten deal that sent his soul to the Devil in exchange for a handful of ridiculous powers.

Capon, a coked-out Mafioso type fronting as the founder and C.E.O. of Capon’s Chicken Chunks, masterminds a plot to break the hearts and wallets of the Cherokee Nation. There’s only one thing the beaver man can do to save them, but it takes the entire odyssey for Zahn to realize his destiny.

The story is true to the superhero genre, but also dives into uncharted waters. Gone is the bustling Metropolis; in its place are the small town of Tahlequah and the river which dances along its outskirts. The book is an ode to the country people of Oklahoma and the state’s natural geography.

Hans’s supporting gang and rockabilly band mates, Bart Featherstone and Dusty “Unit 3” Spetz, own the story as much as Zahn.  Unit 3, haunted by the fact that his beloved son from his third common-law marriage is jailed for running Capon’s meth lab, is willing to do anything to gain his freedom.  Bart Featherstone’s love of music coupled with heartbreak provides a sweet and tender side to the story, while his driving need for revenge shades the story in darkness.  The love triangle between Loraine Getter and her suitors, blue collar Hans and the silver spoon son-of-a-politician, Thomas Tucky, adds romance.

The Power of Zahn is social satire drenched in irreverent and absurd humor.